old people

It takes a day off to make you realise how many old people there really are in the world. I don’t mean those people who’ve just retired and are still fit and active, I mean the really old people.

I was walking through my local shopping centre the other day and into the pharmacist and there were hundreds of them. They were like slipper-clad zombies with their cataract-ridden eyes, milky white and staring blankly. they shuffled along making incoherent sounds or simply drooling. creepy!

Baggy Pants

So why do people insist on wearing really baggy jeans? Why are they so popular? I can understand a girl having tight low-cut jeans, they show off the small of the back and the shape of the ass but why does a 20 yr old guy think that pants big enough for a 20 stone guy and tied around his knees would make him look great and a hit with ‘tha laydeez’

I was walking behind a guy the other day and I swear his waist band was below the cheeks of his arse. The guy must have been 17-18 stone (250lbs). He MUST have been using magic or magnets to keep his pants up. Every 10 seconds his hand snaked down to check they were still in place and give them a gentle tug upwards.

I wished that I’d had one of those hooks on a pole that you see in the fair to ‘hook a duck’ because I would have been able to grab the belt hook at the back and just yank them down. He wouldn’t have been able to chase me with his huge pants flailing around his ankles which is probably a good think because I would have been laughing my ass off, and consequently not very fast at escaping.

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People

Crappy Day – I’ve had lots to do for other people (i.e. that are other peoples jobs) but just have to smile graciously and accept it.

I went walking at lunchtime and realised that there are some really ugly and strange people in Manchester, some days it looks like the Circus or the Carnival is in town.

I’ve been listening to the Ricky Gervais podcasts lately, the show is so funny.

Karl ‘The Shaved Monkey’ Pilkington is really funny he has some really strange and stupid ideas and feels no embarrassment about exposing them to the world. I would encourage everybody to listen to them. Find them on iTunes or www.rickygervais.com . Just as funny is the sound of Ricky Gervais screaming and giggling in response to Karl’s comments.